B.O.B (BOG OFF BULLIES) ANTI BULLYING
INFO FOR PARENTS, CARERS & PROFESSIONSALS
An example of one of the groups that RAPP runs is the BOB group which stands for Bog off Bullies. The idea of an anit bullying group came from a sharp increase in bullying referrals in 1998; in response RAPP developed an anti bullying support and campaign group for children and young people, who called themselves The Bully Beat Crew.
This group were supported by Hull Youth Council, the Warren and the Community Anti Bullying project (CABP) and met on a weekly basis for 2 years, with over 150 young people accessing the group over this time.
The Bully Beat Crew wrote an anti bullying song that was later recorded on to CD called “move your feet to the bully beat”. The song was then included on a Hull youth council video called silence is Golden, especially for Bullies, to raise awareness about bullying.
The young people from the Bully Beat Crew, also met with the Director of Education in Hull to ask questions about was been done to tackle bullying in Hull Schools. The Bully Beat Crew actively supported a Hull youth Council event called “Bullying get it sorted “in 2000.
The Bully Beat Crew then later developed into the BOB group that began life in May 2003, again in response to RAPP receiving a high number of bullying referrals.The group continues to meet every two weeks and is supported by staff from CABP….the the BOB group is still going strong. The young people at the BOB group have carried out a range of work over this time including; supporting the development of Hull youth councils Anti bullying charter at a conference in 2004 and influencing and shaping RAPP’s ongoing anti bullying training and work with young people.
BOB GROUP AIMS:
• To respond to and actively support children and young people, aged 9 -21 who are experiencing bullying behavior.
• To actively explore methods and techniques to support children and young to tackle and cope with bullying through needs led support and advice.
• To organise campaigns and ensure young people views and ideas and listened to around the issue of bullying.
STOP PRESS...!!
From May 2011 The BOB group joined up Young people from the BOOST group.
BOOST is all about raising children and young people’s self esteem and building their confidence and runs in a similar way to how the BOB group sessions were run. Quite often Bullying problems can badly affect a young person’s confidence and how they feel about themselves. BOOST exists to support young people in dealing with these difficulties in a positive way, make new friends and develop their confidence and social skills.
For more information on BOOST please contact the RAPP office.
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BOB, THE STORY FROM YOUNG PEOPLE.WHAT IS BOB?
This is what Children and young people have said:BOB’S CHARTER FOR ACTION (written by the BOB group)
BOB'S LETTER
Bullies beware; You're in for a scare......
Dear Bully,
We Would like you to try and think about how bullying makes us feel.
People get hurt. It really hurts being hit and being called names. You act so big and hard, do you do it to look cool in front of your friends?
You cause us upset. It makes us feel scared, it makes us feel angry, it makes us feel frightened, it makes us feel out of control.
We want you to stop and think about what you do because one day it might happen to you!
WATCH THE BOB VIDEO - "SILENCE OR NO SILENCE"
(may take a few seconds to load)
The BOOST Group
RAPP has always received a steady number of referrals regarding children and young people experiencing self confidence problems or difficulties with their self esteem. The BOOST group was set up in 2009 initially from an idea from students on placement at RAPP and then facilitated by ex RAPP staff Christine Charlton, Mike Gillett, supported by Lisa Billany; to respond to these referrals and deal with the issue more creatively.
It is clear that having a lack of confidence can create a number of problems for young people at School and how they make and form relationships with other young people and adults.
Confidence can differ massively from one person to another for a range of different reasons; some young people are sometimes naturally confident and others struggle to speak up for themselves and make and keep friends. The BOOST uses group activities and games to build up children and young people’s confidence and belief in themselves; so this can start to help them in their everyday lives and in their relationships.
The group has also had an arts and craft focus, with children and young people making things working together as team and in smaller groups.
The BOB group has joined with BOOST, which means the group will also carry out anti bullying advice and approaches, again to build children and young people’s confidence in responding to bullying.
To find out more about BOOST contact the RAPP office or contact us straight off this site.
ANTI-BULLYING ADVICE FROM THE BOB GROUPBullying Includes:
- Bullies can also frighten you so that you don’t want to go to school, so that you pretend to be ill to avoid them.
The bullies will have worked out what buttons to push to make you upset, they may make remarks about:
What not to do:
- Don’t try to deal with the problem on your own–there is nothing wrong in asking for help.
- Don’t hit the bullies – you might end up being accused of bullying yourself.
- Always tell the truth about what has happened. Don’t exaggerate. If a small part of what you are saying is shown to be untrue then it throws everything else into doubt.
- Don’t believe the lies that the bullies tell about you.
- Don’t hide what is happening from the adults you trust.
- Keeping things a secret is the bullies biggest weapon against you. That is why they go to so much trouble to try to stop you telling.
What to do:
- Talk to someone you can trust, a teacher, parent, older friend or relative.
- Be persistent. If the first person you talk to ignores you don’t give up, speak to someone else.
- If you can, write down everything the bullies have done or have said to you, and try to write down how you feel. When you have found someone you can trust and who is helpful, discuss what you have written with that person. Be very careful to only write down things which really happen.
- If you find it difficult to talk to an adult, ask one of your friends to come with you, or ask someone to talk to an adult on your behalf.
- Most importantly, do something. Sometime bullying stops quickly but doing nothing means it may continue until someone is seriously upset or hurt. That could be you, or the bullies may find new victims. If their behaviour is not challenged they are unlikely to stop.
ADVICE FOR PARENTS, CARERS & PROFESSIONALS
Talking to the School about the bullying problem:
If you are still not happy with the school's response.
Make an appointment to meet the Head Teacher and request if the class teacher or head of year can be present at this meeting.
The focus of this meeting again should be to highlight the bullying problem and agree a plan to tackle it.If you are still not happy.....
Contact the parent Governor at the school either by telephone or in writing and explain clearly to them what you have tried to do so far and ask them for their support.If you are still not happy.....
Write to the chair of Governors explaining your concerns and again be clear and specific about what you like to happen.Where can you get support and advice to make sure that you and your child are listened to throughout this process and you get the help you need.
www.anti-bullyingalliance.org
www.kidscape.org.uk
www.bullying.co.uk
www.surveillance-video.com/bully-april-2009.html
BOB'S RULES FOR SCHOOLS:
POEMS WRITTEN BY THE BOB GROUPYou will never realize how much you hurt
Words, looks and punches make me feel like dirt
There is an evil look in your eyes
And a twisted hate behind your lies
What is it that really makes you tick?
I can’t explain how much you make me sick
But then I want things to be, how they used to be
Do you even remember you were once friends with me?
It feels like a fire burning my heart
And to be honest I don’t know where to start
All I know is how you make me feel, how you make me so small
And it’s a hurt and a pain that has no escape, such shame and no real name at all.(By B. From the BOB Group)
When I was young people would snarl and call
because I was the odd one out of them all,
but no body knew at all,
I would put on a brave face to my mother and father
and say that everything was okay.
But every morning the dreaded feeling would stay inside me through the whole day
Just in case the bullies saw me and took all my money off me
I could not tell anybody because if I did they said they'd get me again
For six whole years this went on and now those days are gone.(By a BOB member who wishes to remain anonymous)
I hate my life
I hate my life
Bullies are so horrible to me
They hit you and kick you
They call you names
They're horrible
They do it to feel hard
They do it because their friends do
I want to die
I really do
They egg you and kick you
They make up stories that you have said and turn the words around
I hate school
I hate walking home at night
I hate leaving my home in the morning
I feel like i'm sitting on a time bomb and i'm waiting
I hate my life(By BOB member who wishes to remain anonymous)
IT
It’s there
And won’t go away
No matter what I do
No matter what I sayIts there
All the time
My life doesn’t feel
Like its mineThey hate
Kick, bite and spit
What did I do
To deserve it?Its there
Like a big black cloudI’ve got to be strong
And got to stand proud…….help!(By BOB member who wishes to remain anonymous)
BULLYING WEEK
I worried about it all day
Saturday and Sunday
About what they where
Going to do to me
On MondayMonday came without much fuss
The name calling started on the bus
The punching and poking on the way into class
I prayed for the day to PassTuesday and P.E.
Why are they having a go at me?
The kick me hard and throw me in the Mud
They make me feel like I am no goodWednesday and I hate maths
They make up stories and have lots of laughs
Thursday dinner time took my quid
They said go home…so I didFriday I told the teacher everything today
She said ignore them and just walk awayThey threatened to get me for being a grass
I am so glad this week has passedI worried about it all day
Saturday and Sunday
About what they are going to do to me
On…….Monday…..
(By BOB member who wishes to remain anonymous)Bullies don’t belong in this world…
Its not only the guys ..its also the girlsBullies make the world a horrible place
Because of your size, colour or even your faceIf they stopped to realize
They are just like meWe can live as one big happy family.
STOP BULLYING
BOB; Blast Off Bullies
(By BOB member who wishes to remain anonymous)
Click the arrow to listen to:
"Move your feet to the bully beat" by The Bully Beat Crew.
This song was written and recorded by children and young people from the Bully Beat Crew supported by RAPP, the Warren and Hull Youth Council.The Rights and Participation Project (RAPP) is a three-way partnership between Hull Social Services, Save the Children Fund and The Warren (a young peoples resource centre in Hull). RAPP provides a Children's Rights Service for Hull and offers independent advice, support and advocacy to young people aged between nine and twenty-one living in the Hull area.
Since RAPP began in April 1997 the project has worked with a number of children and young people who have experienced difficulties with bullying at school and in other places. Bullying can be a very difficult problem to crack and sort out but most people agree that bullying is wrong and can really hurt children and young people to the point where they don’t know what to do next!
Craig Clark, Hull Children’s Rights Officer, had the idea of writing a rap song about bullying alongside children and young people. Some questionnaires were then drawn up with three main questions:
1: Bullying is wrong because...
2: Bullying makes you feel...
3: My ideas to stop bullying would be....These questions were then sent out to eight young people RAPP had recently worked with around bullying issues and one to Hull Youth Council. All but one of these questionnaires were returned and contains some brilliant ideas and answers. These young people were then invited to a meeting with the idea of writing the words for the Rapp from the answers on the questionnaires. With help from Craig and Carole Lowthorpe (one of the young peoples parents) the first draft for the song was put together. The group then met each Thursday afternoon for six weeks and was joined by other mad keen rappers from the RAP Project and Hull Youth Council. After many hours of blood, sweat and tears in the sweltering Warren Studio, the track was recorded thanks to the expertise, persistence and patience of Dave Peche (Warren Volunteer) and it sounded ace.... The seeds had been sown!!
On the 4th August 1999 the track was re-mixed and recorded onto CD by master-mixer and talented technician Dean Marshall at the Digital Hit Factory in Hull.... and the bully beat crew were buzzing!!
Big thankyous and credit where it’s most definitely due, for the lyrics; Craig Clark, Carole Lowthorpe and the Bully Beat Crew, for your great ideas, to Liam, Emma, Toni , Mark and Tanya . For your great ideas and musical magic, to lead vocalists Vicci and Kenny, the ‘move your feet to the bully beat crew’ - the backing singers Jamie and Thomas, Luke, Jane, Craig, Wayne, Philip, Darren , Jade and Georgia. Dave (brilliant) Peche for the original bully mix and arrangement (Warren Studio).
To Craig Clark (the peoples poet?), Hull Children’s Rights Officer: to Jeanne Nicolini, Nickie Johnson and Ruth Drake (Hull Youth Council Heroines!); to crazy conductor Carole Lowthorpe, to Dean Marshall for the remix.
WHY DO CHILDREN & YOUNG PEOPLE BULLY?
(Written by children & young people from the BOB group.)• Because they think it is big and hard
• Because they think it is clever
• Because they want attention
• Because they are jealous
• Because they think it is fun
• Because of peer pressure
• To impress their mates
• Because they have issues at home
• Because they are cowards
• Because they are getting bullied themselves
• Because they think it is the right thing to do
• Because they think they can get away with it
Why Do Children and Young People Get Bullied?
• Because they are different
• Because of their height and weight
• Because of their Race/Nationality
• Because of their clothes
• Because of their accent
• Because of their religion
• Because of their disability
• Because of their background
• Because of who they are friends with
• Because of their popularity
• Because they are swots
• Because for no reason at all
Losing it? Ideas on controlling your angerAs well as the problem of bullying, anger management is a common reason why young people get referred to RAPP and from this RAPP has developed a training course on anger management for professionals.
The young people who attend the BOB Group have done a lot of work over the years on thinking about how young people can control their tempers and deal with their anger better.
Here are some of their ideas….'When young people are aggressive, it’s all about fear. They get respect through acting hard, because people are frightened of them. This can sometimes only last a short time, because other kids want to have a go and then the tables get turned'
'You can’t force someone to like you. Even if you are nasty and aggressive. They will act like they do like you, but deep down inside they won’t'
'If you start getting aggressive to people at school, it can get in to a bad habit and get out of hand, before you know it, you will get arrested''
'Aggression can be a positive thing, when it’s turned into adrenalin or determination to do something really well. It’s about how to channel it'
'The best thing to do is to ignore aggressive people and stay away from them. Walk away and show you are not bothered. Walk confident and don’t react. If you have a go back, it just makes it worse'
'There are plenty of ways to calm yourself down, a lot of it depends whether you are willing to try it.' Some people are aggressive because the people they hang about with act like that as well'
'I remember my dad, pointing out a bloke in the street, who used to be a hard case when my Dad was at School. He looked really old and lonely. My Dad said, even hard cases grow old. He's had his day..Where are his mates now?'
'Its better to be cool, chilled and confident, than thinking you are ten men and can batter everyone…I stay well away from people like that, what are they trying to prove?'IF YOU ARE HAVING PROBLEMS CONTROLLING YOUR ANGER RAPP CAN HELP…….
CONTACT US ON: 01482-225855
